he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
