I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Bring me that man meat
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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