I want to stick my p in your. b.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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