Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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