why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
