everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
farters have to be the big spoon...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
