Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Randomize