Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
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You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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