She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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