She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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