I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
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Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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