I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
