i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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