Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
