Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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