I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize