Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
