so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We are all done wearing pants today
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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