you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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