If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize