he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize