3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
