I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
