they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
