I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
