How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
