i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
