What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I didn't notice because vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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