You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
