butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
