Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
