so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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