So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize