so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
