she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
