I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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