She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
