It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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