I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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