i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
