why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
