he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
How does it feel to date your dad?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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