that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
