who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
