he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
