why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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