you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
