He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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