Whod you bang
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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