is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
