We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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