I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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