Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
