How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
