i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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