Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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